You Complete Me!

Ever had someone say, "You Complete Me?"  Or have you heard it said to someone else? Perhaps, you may remember Tom Cruise say it in Jerry Maguire or have read it in a romantic novel. Either way, we have all come across those words one way or another.

I recently had a conversation with a friend who expressed her feelings to me about her relationship. She explained that without her boyfriend she would not feel complete. I continued to listen to her go on and on about her relationship and how happy she finally was. Although, I'm equally happy for her, it made me realize that I used to feel that way. In fact, I had a conversation with an ex-boyfriend recently and realized that I wasn't the only one with the same feelings. He shared a very familiar phrase about how he felt when we broke up years ago. He told me, "I haven't felt COMPLETE since we split". Wow, I was surprised to hear that from him and it made me feel warm and fuzzy inside to have someone feel that way about me. 'How sweet' - was my true reaction.

But let's hit the fast forward button.

It wasn't long before realizing that it wasn't so sweet after all. In fact, my whole persona of 'you complete me' has changed. To feel complete means to be whole. I now know what a problem it is to feel that way. Feelings of wanting someone else make you feel complete and whole explains the insecurities a person struggles within. After having continued conversation with my ex and hearing him explain the feelings he had at the time of our break-up confirmed that we both were trying to feel complete being together.

The misconception that so many of us have on relationships can actually hurt us. If you do not feel complete and whole within then you can not have a healthy relationship with others. Finding this in someone else is hurting yourself and in the long run will hurt them too. This extends from not loving yourself first. I've learned and realized how long I've been hurting myself and others by not learning to LOVE ME first.

I have come to terms with knowing my very own downfalls in relationships. And I started with getting to know me and loving me first! This may shed some light in your own journey too. We go through a break-up and feel disappointed by the turn of events. But instead of taking time to heal to learn about yourself and what it really means to love yourself we jump into another relationship to have the feelings of fulfillment and completeness. Not only have I myself experienced this but I've seen it happen with people I personally know. The end results have always been negative.

Although, I have not spoken to my ex in quite a while, what's more disturbing is knowing that in my last conversation with him, he still struggles with feeling complete within. He continues to focus on his relationships to feel complete, wanted, and loved. And when things don't go his way in a relationship, he dismisses women's feelings and uses the women for his own enjoyment. This stems from a lack of being in love with himself. This is a topic that will be discussed separately very soon. (Lack of Loving YOU First)

My sincere hope for my ex and those of you out there struggling with being complete within, is to take time to heal. By doing so, you get to learn more about who you are, you'll be able to release the past, and learn to move forward without guilt or regret. This is a first-step process in getting to know you and falling in love with yourself. It will allow you to have a better perspective in life. You would be doing yourself and those you come in contact with a favor.

Many blessings from me to you!